34-37 “You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.” Matthew 12:34-37 MSG
I'm redefining my living space - internally and externally. In my desire to live my best life, I decided at the end of 2021 to release some things from my mind. I could not go into another season of life - not necessarily worried about the next year as the season held more prominence in my mind - with the same old baggage. One of the things I decided was to restore - or attempt to - restore the friendships I missed. There are some who became a part of my world and we lost touch over the years. Those were the ones that I wanted to rekindle. There were other relationships that I felt were coming to a close as they were not uplifting me. You have heard me speak time and time again about my circle. My circle is precious to me. Every piece - every person - holds a special place for me. When I feel that someone is drifting apart, I let them go and pray for their health and success. Some are good with this and we have no issues when we meet years later and the friendship is rekindled. There are others that look at me as if I've lost my mind. Either way is fine. Honestly. I don't judge who they are or where they stand in life. As the Word says, I am not the lawgiver and judge. I hold no ill will or grudges.
Here is my word to you for this week. As you move through life, friendships, relationships, co-workers change. That is fine. Some will become stronger and others will deteriorate. The choice is up to you whom you allow in your world, your hearts, your space. All of these are precious and should be guarded for the gifts that they are. If someone cannot understand that you are moving in a different space, then that really isn't up to you to make them understand. I use to try and do this. I wanted everyone to be happy but more importantly, I wanted them to be happy with me. That won't always be the case. But, are you happy with you? Can you take yourself to the movies, to dinner, out for a walk and be content with your own company? Can you sit and have a movie night at home and not be depressed because you are alone? I love the solitude now. I love the fact that I can hear myself breathe and think. Don't get me wrong, I like spending time with my girls too, but I love spending time with me.
You cannot stop someone from judging you. Don't try. Let them be who they are. I remember many moons ago, my office had to go to a work event in another city. I was driving a company car and invited others to go so they wouldn't have to take their cars. There was a group of about 6 of us that decided to go together. One of the managers was hurt because no one wanted to drive with her. Her supervisor devised a plan where the original 6 was divided among the other 3 company cars. She later asked me if I wouldn't feel left out if no one wanted to ride with me. My explanation was simple. While I understood her hurt, I would have been fine driving by myself. She asked why? Simple answer - I wouldn't have to cater to anyone as the driver and caretaker of the car. I could have the temperature set the way I like it - with heat all the way up - listen to the music I wanted, come and go as I pleased, and talk on the speaker phone instead of a headset using coded language. She looked at me as if I had 3 heads. I looked at her and further explained that I enjoy my own company. She thought I was being selfish and even advised my supervisor of such. While he gave no credit to her thoughts, I was baffled that a simple act of trying to help turned into an accusation of selfishness. Listen, people will think what they will. Let them. Her continual outrage to her supervisor and mine fell on deaf ears. I was neither reprimanded nor scolded for volunteering the use of our company car that was in my care. I was thanked by her supervisor for my show of team support and wanting to assist the team achieve the goal (arrival to the company event). When you do things out the kindness of your heart, God sees. He covers and protects you. He'll judge if you are wrong or right. He'll correct you and put you on the right path. Once she made her statement to me and I answered, I went on about my business. The group of us that road together had a ball laughing and joking the entire way there. I had no further concern of the accusations. I wasn't worried about a human judge. My heart spoke from a place of love and concern.
When you go to do something, say something bring it from a place of love and keep it moving. Others interpretation isn't necessarily your job. Disclaimer: there are ABSOLUTELY times when you need to make it plain and clear as to what you mean and be careful of how you say it. Your thoughts and words spoken have to be clear and coming from a good place not vindictive or negative. Please make sure from where you are speaking before you speak. Don't speak in haste or in anger. Take the time and choose your words so that they clearly convey your thoughts then back those up with actions of a pure intent. There will always be people whom will try to discredit you and change the meaning of your words to something else. This is what was attempted in the scenario above. However, the scheme didn't work. Why? My intent was pure.
Be A Blessing and Not Just Blessed