Psalm 45:9 (KJV) "Kings' daughters were among thy honourable women..."
I was sitting at work the other day and heard that a friend had been physically mistreated by her boyfriend. My heart cried for this young lady. I called her to ensure that she was okay and in a safe place. She automatically began to defend his actions. I couldn't understand this. My upbringing instilled in me a sense of love for myself to never allow anyone to mistreat me. A man putting his hands on me was never part of what I thought a relationship should be.
However, as I've been sitting and talking to various women - young and old - I understand why they stay. There was a time growing up where I thought I was ugly because of the color of my skin. My daddy, bless his soul, took time to constantly tell me that my skin was beautiful. He thought me early on - - - the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. While it took me some time to understand it, understand I did. While daddy was teaching that lesson, momma taught me to love myself, to stand up for myself and to never, ever allow anyone - no man, woman, boy, or girl - to tell me what I am not. Those lessons follow me even now. I've been alone and I've been lonely. But, I've never been in a situation where I choose to stay with a man that believed he had the right to physically hurt me. Even through my days of self-doubt over my skin color or weight, the idea that the only way to have love was when a man put his hands on me, was unacceptable. I would rather be alone, lonely, than battered and bruised.
Listen, oh women of God. Love yourself!!! Learn to be by yourself. Learn that you are worth more than being his punching bag. You are the daughter of THE KING. Not any King. The King, Ruler, Master, Father of all things. The Creator of the Heavens and the Earth. The One that spoke light into existence. The One that breathed life into man. The One that formed you and created you in all your beauty even before you were of ant size in your mother's womb. Don't settle for less than. Learn that you are more than. You are an honorable woman and when you decide that you are worth more, more will come to you. See yourself through HIS eyes. See yourself as victorious, beautiful, intelligent. Be proud of whom you are. Acknowledge your past but don't dwell in it, learn from it and move on.
Many years ago, I created a list of Confessions/Affirmations. I would daily tell myself "I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am creative. I am worth more than I could ever imagine. I am a good mother. I am a good daughter and sister. I am a good woman and worthy of a good man that loves me unconditionally. I am the daughter of THE King. My Father is owner of all things. I am saved. I am redeemed. I am. I am. I am."
If you need to, write out Confessions/Affirmations for yourself. Speak into existence those things that you feel you lack so that you can change your perspective on whom you are and what you are worth. You must first see your own value. I laugh now at the journey that I've been on because I find myself giving the lessons I've learned about myself to the young women around me. I thank God for the lessons and the journey. My testimony isn't for me. It is to help another to see that God is and God will.
Be A Blessing and Not Just Blessed
- - Nakya