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FEAR: The four letter word for Christians

Growing up I had this fear of making mistakes. I thought I was bad if I got bad grades or had a mishap. Now, before you all psychoanalyze me, this was not my parents or family's doing. Somewhere along the way, I thought being good meant being perfect. I would cringe if I got a C on my paper and there were times that a B would make me cry. My parents would always tell me that it was okay. They kept enforcing in me a sense that I was fine just the way I was and had to change for no one and nothing. But inside, deep inside, I never believed that. There was this inner voice telling me that I was nothing if I wasn't perfect.

I didn't realize as a child that demons can whisper to you just as angels can. I remember hearing the old folks say that angels were playing with babies when you saw them smile in their sleep. My young mind would wonder if angels only came to babies. If once you were up and running, you were on your own.

Unfortunately, I never really expressed those beliefs to the family around me. That inner drive to be perfect almost cost me my mind. When I couldn't be perfect the whispers would say that I was nothing.

Although the thoughts subsided a bit, they were never far from my mind. It wasn't until years later, many years later that I understood that the whispers were lies and untruths. It was the formation of my relationship with God that led me to truly accept me for me. I started to realize that I could make a mistake and the world wouldn't crumple nor would I be the most hated person around (these were some of the whispers in my ear).

Because of these experiences in my youth, I would often sing to my son when he was in my womb and after birth. I wanted him to hear no whispers in his ear that would begin a foundation of lies regarding his worth. Upon entering high school, one of the teachers told me that he came to the school on the first day as a freshman and walked as if he had no fear, as if he belonged there and was an upper classman instead of a freshman.

I rejoiced in this not because he was prideful but because this was what I wanted to pass onto my son. To not be afraid of people and their thoughts toward you. Now, do we still have some hurdles? Absolutely. But we understand that God is God. Psalm 118:6-7 says "The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper."

Can I call myself a Christian and not understand that the job of Satan is to destroy my belief in the Lord thy God? To destroy the bond that has been formed between He and I? To cause fear to stop me from moving, being, breathing, loving, sharing, caring, etc. as God says. Fear is that thing that can stop us in our tracks. But God's pure love is the ax that can destroy it. I decided many moons ago to live in His love and not allow fear to rest, rule, and abide in my life. Things will happen. But, at the end of the day, God's love remains. Who am I to fear, what am I to fear when the Lord is with me?

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