I was watching television not to long ago and heard about singer Fantasia Barrino’s comment regarding marriage and how the woman needs to “fall back” (submit and let the man be the head of the household). She’s been getting a lot of fall out about this comment. I laugh because people are not understanding that what she’s saying is biblical-based. Her comments were very raw. Not in that she used bad language or was rude. But it was raw in the sense that she was telling women opposite of what we’ve been taught for years. Now don’t misunderstand her comments. She never told women to not have a voice but she did tell us that the man should be the head and his wife his neck. Catch it. What will you do without your neck? How much can you move? In the game of chess, I’ve heard it said (and someone during Fantasia’s interview also stated) that the Queen is the most valuable piece on the chessboard. How much value do you choose to have? Are you so stuck on being in charge that you can’t see that the husband is their to protect you and deter the enemy? He is the first line of defense for the household.
Being a Queen doesn’t mean having the loudest voice or being domineering over your household. Neither do these things make a man a man.
What I loved about her conversation and the subsequent comments of both Fantasia and her husband were their clear message that their marriage was based on the Word. Biblical teaching and foundation isn’t just how we praise, worship, and work in the church. It is how you take what you’ve been taught and implement it in your life.
Fantasia’s husband went on to say that the moment he steps out of righteousness his wife has every right to snatch back her submission because it is a gift. My Lord, My Lord. Listen, I’ve never been married. I’ve always been on the outside looking in. However, these words rang true for this single woman in a season of preparation. Submission is a gift. It isn’t owed to any spouse nor to any parent. How can you tell your children what’s bad for them and what they shouldn’t do when they see you exhibiting a behavior and indulging in an act? This man's sentiments were the same in regard to the husband toward his wife.
Leaders, excuse me great leaders, knew how to follow first. If you want anyone, spouse, child, co-workers, church members, etc to follow where you lead, then know that if you have not first learned to follow Christ then people will not follow you. Oh there are some self-appointed leaders out there but I’m discussing kingdom people, real followers of Christ.
Kingdom isn’t easy. Let me be frank...it’s one of the hardest and easiest things I’ve ever had to do. Hard because I have to really look at myself each day and choose to be better. The easy portion comes in that I don’t feel overwhelmed or unappreciated. Why? Because Jesus is there guiding me along as I’m willing to see past myself, see Him, and follow His lead, often with nothing more than a promise.
It comes down to the simplest of simple really when its time to make this choice. What do you want more? To live this life knowing that God's got it. It being all your stress, worry, disappointment, heartache, heartbreak. Or are you that one that knows you can handle it all. I was that one for a very long time. Then I woke up. You've probably heard that saying - when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. With Christ, he makes the lemonade and then says to us - here, drink.
Be A Blessing and not Just Blessed
- - Nakya