Many many moons ago I wanted to dance. I was a little girl taking ballet classes and I was afraid to continue because the other little girls were looking and laughing at me as they were more advanced. I left the class and cried to my mom that I never wanted to go back. Deep down, I've always wanted to dance. I didn't realize then that it was the laughter that I didn't want. My parents tried and tried to get me to go back. Mom took be back to class but I would not leave her side, afraid of what the others would say. Afraid that they would laugh at me again. Being a chunky little girl, my views of myself were low. I always thought people saw the "fat" girl dancing and not me.
Psalm 37:4 New King James Version (NKJV)
"Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart."
Not to long ago, the leader of the Liturgical Dance Ministry at my church asked me to help them with dancing with the flag during a particular song. My heart was lifted up. See the desire of my heart, the heart of that little girl, never evaporated. I would stand on the sideline and appreciate dancers. I love the ballet and always have. I would stand in my room days on end and practice the few moves I knew from the couple of classes that I attended. I had a book that had the beginning stretches and I would flex and pose and flex and pose. It delighted my heart to do so. I would make up moves and practice all by myself, entertaining myself for as long as my heart desired. God knows me best. Last month, the leader of the same Liturgical Dance Ministry asked me to join their ministry. GOD!!!! I was allowed to dance and fulfill the desire that I had long buried in my heart. I was blessed with a dream that I thought was extinct. My dream neither dried up nor festered. It was deferred because of me and my fear. It was never God's intention for me not to dance. But, it was my fear that stopped me. I allowed others to judge me in such a way that my fear commanded my heart and buried a hope so deep that it has taken over 25 years to have it exposed in the sunshine. So, this weekend, I danced, danced, danced. I gave it what I had and appreciated the continual practices commissioned by the leader.
As the little girl whose dreams are being fulfilled, I'll ask you do you have a dream deferred? If so, delight yourself in the Lord and watch him provide you with the desires of your heart.
Be A Blessing and Not Just Blessed
- - Nakya